Ectopic Pregnancies

It's a sunny day today with a temperature of 29'C. Things are moving slow...well, for me at least.

The anxiety of knowing that I could be having a molar pregnancy now is horrible. Only time will tell. I just couldn't wait to see Dr Chung again on Tuesday (26/11/2013) to get a clarity of things. Every visit to the toilet breaks my heart...this spotting seems to be mocking me endlessly. *sigh*

Looking back, I'd say I had a late marriage at the age of 32 in year 2008. Our honeymoon got us interested in a discovery dive and that's how we got started with diving adventures. We had a lot of water activities during the honeymoon although I was keeping a lookout for my menses.

I suspected that I was pregnant when my menses didn't show up and being naive, I couldn't be bothered to even make an appointment to see a gynae. I remember asking my colleague about getting a home pregnancy test kit and was then immediately warned to get myself checked with a gynae.

Another week passed and we were finally waiting to see a gynae at Sunway Medical Centre. It was a long queue...we waited for almost 3 hours! Dr Jason is a nice gentleman. We had a chat and he explained that based on information provided, my expected due date would be 1/1/2009.

The excitement vanished as quickly as it started when he did a vaginal scan. After much prodding, he took a deep breath and hesitated for a while. He showed us where my womb is on the screen and then he went on to show us a flickering image at another location outside my womb. There was silence and I began to cry.

That was my first experience of ectopic pregnancy. The pregnancy was removed on the very next morning at 7 weeks via laparoscopic surgery. 7cm of my right fallopian tube was removed together with our little angel. Dr Jason also cleared as much as he could the adhesion detected on my left tube to avoid another ectopic. That, of course, had never put my mind at ease anyway.

A few months down the road, I did a hysterosalpingogram ("HSG") test which "confirmed" that my left tube was clear and "unobstructed". Still, my mind was telling me not to trust the HSG results! I believed I had minor depression as I had refused to try to conceive for about 2 years after that! There were so much of crying and self-blaming and self-pity. I just couldn't imagine going through another ectopic...

Time passed, I realised that my biological clock is clicking away. Hubby and I had a chat and we decided to start trying again. We saw another gynae at Tung Shin. It took us more than 6 months and there I was, pregnant again. I couldn't think of anything but ectopic, ectopic, ectopic...

My worst fear came. Yes, it was ectopic...again! This was madness! Why me? Why us? WHY?!

Due to equipment limitations at Tung Shin, we were advised to return to Sunway Medical Centre for laparoscopic surgery. Dr Jason confirmed it was a left tubal pregnancy (yes, we saw the flickering heartbeats again) and he removed my left fallopian tube completely this time together with our 7 weeks angel in September 2011.

I felt like my dreams were shattered. Will I ever be a mother of my own child?

I began my search on IVF...