Wednesday 27 November 2013

Post Dilation & Curettage

Yesterday came and left...

I still remember my heart was pounding so fast when I saw the call from Dr Chung's clinic at 5.35pm to inform me of my hCG level. I know I just couldn't take another bad news...

Dr Chung did a thorough vaginal scan yesterday morning. He is of the view that the mass [which is located at the spot where a cornual pregnancy would take place] is likely to be the leftover placental tissues and it has embedded very deep into the uterine lining. So much so, there is only about 0.35cm of the thickness of the uterine lining left. If it goes any deeper, it may penetrate into the muscular tissues outside my womb. It would be difficult to have it scraped off with another dilation & curettage ("d&c") as it may injure my womb. *sigh* I can only hope that this mass will shed off on its own very soon.

Alas, it was not such a bad news after all. My hCG level has decreased to 59 mIU/ml at 4w2d post d&c (from an earlier 108 mIU/ml at 3w6d). I will have to be monitored from now onwards until my hCG level drops to 0. I am so looking forward to move on...

Meanwhile, I have to continue eating healthy and stay healthy.

Tomorrow will be a brighter day...I'm sure! :)

Sunday 24 November 2013

Ectopic Pregnancies

It's a sunny day today with a temperature of 29'C. Things are moving slow...well, for me at least.

The anxiety of knowing that I could be having a molar pregnancy now is horrible. Only time will tell. I just couldn't wait to see Dr Chung again on Tuesday (26/11/2013) to get a clarity of things. Every visit to the toilet breaks my heart...this spotting seems to be mocking me endlessly. *sigh*

Looking back, I'd say I had a late marriage at the age of 32 in year 2008. Our honeymoon got us interested in a discovery dive and that's how we got started with diving adventures. We had a lot of water activities during the honeymoon although I was keeping a lookout for my menses.

I suspected that I was pregnant when my menses didn't show up and being naive, I couldn't be bothered to even make an appointment to see a gynae. I remember asking my colleague about getting a home pregnancy test kit and was then immediately warned to get myself checked with a gynae.

Another week passed and we were finally waiting to see a gynae at Sunway Medical Centre. It was a long queue...we waited for almost 3 hours! Dr Jason is a nice gentleman. We had a chat and he explained that based on information provided, my expected due date would be 1/1/2009.

The excitement vanished as quickly as it started when he did a vaginal scan. After much prodding, he took a deep breath and hesitated for a while. He showed us where my womb is on the screen and then he went on to show us a flickering image at another location outside my womb. There was silence and I began to cry.

That was my first experience of ectopic pregnancy. The pregnancy was removed on the very next morning at 7 weeks via laparoscopic surgery. 7cm of my right fallopian tube was removed together with our little angel. Dr Jason also cleared as much as he could the adhesion detected on my left tube to avoid another ectopic. That, of course, had never put my mind at ease anyway.

A few months down the road, I did a hysterosalpingogram ("HSG") test which "confirmed" that my left tube was clear and "unobstructed". Still, my mind was telling me not to trust the HSG results! I believed I had minor depression as I had refused to try to conceive for about 2 years after that! There were so much of crying and self-blaming and self-pity. I just couldn't imagine going through another ectopic...

Time passed, I realised that my biological clock is clicking away. Hubby and I had a chat and we decided to start trying again. We saw another gynae at Tung Shin. It took us more than 6 months and there I was, pregnant again. I couldn't think of anything but ectopic, ectopic, ectopic...

My worst fear came. Yes, it was ectopic...again! This was madness! Why me? Why us? WHY?!

Due to equipment limitations at Tung Shin, we were advised to return to Sunway Medical Centre for laparoscopic surgery. Dr Jason confirmed it was a left tubal pregnancy (yes, we saw the flickering heartbeats again) and he removed my left fallopian tube completely this time together with our 7 weeks angel in September 2011.

I felt like my dreams were shattered. Will I ever be a mother of my own child?

I began my search on IVF...

Saturday 23 November 2013

Incomplete Miscarriage?

It doesn't sound good, does it?

The dilation & curettage ("d&c") which I had almost 4 weeks ago (28/10/2013) didn't seem to clear my womb...at least not completely. I have been spotting ever since. It does worry me as I've read somewhere that this spotting should not exceed 2 weeks after the d&c, the max. Infections were my only thoughts...

Dr Chung did a vaginal ultrasound this morning and we saw a mass (which Dr said doesn't look like fetal tissues) on one side of my womb. Whatever that is, it certainly must have caused my non-stop spotting. After much hesitation, Dr mentioned molar pregnancy! I just couldn't believe my ears! He then did a tummy scan but we were unable to see anything as my bladder wasn't full and my womb is tilted backwards ("retroverted uterus"). I just couldn't concentrate at all anyway. My mind just wasn't there.

To rule out molar pregnancy, bloods were drawn to check on my hCG levels. I know things must be bad when I received a call from the clinic at 6pm. To my horror, my hCG levels are more than 100 mIU/ml! I was asked to return to the clinic in 3 days' time (26/11/2013) instead of the scheduled 1 week. I'm devastated...

It's always been my dream to have children of my own. I want to be a mother. The d&c has taken away my 4th angel. I'd miscarried at 10 weeks (from my 3rd fresh IVF cycle)...the furthest I've gone in pregnancy thus far.

I must stay strong...and have faith...