It's Christmas! I can't believe it's the end of another year again.
What have I achieved this year? Nothing? Sadly, I can only think of the many failures we had with IVF. This year alone, we've had two (2) fresh IVF treatments but unfortunately with no take home babies. I was so looking forward to our next fresh cycle after my dilation and curettage ("d&c").
However, I feel that I'm kind of holding back a little now. I'd somehow find myself a bit hesitant to get appointments fixed to start afresh. Too afraid of failures again? Losing faith? Or just not ready?
Maybe it's too late now to start in January 2014. I'd just had my 2nd menses two (2) days ago on 23/12/2013. Didn't expect it to be this early. It was just a mere 23 days since 30/11/2013! Well, it's better early than late I suppose. Although the flow is rather heavy this time, I don't feel much cramps so I am very thankful.
I need to know that my body has really healed. Hopefully Dr Chung could confirm that my womb is totally empty now and give us a thumbs-up to continue. That at the very least, may put my mind at ease. I am confident that my blood test this Saturday will reveal the hCG level of below 5 mIU/ml. It has to be!
IVF treatments have never been easy...and knowing that I need to go through it again makes life rather miserable for me. This is really tough, but I have to keep reminding myself that we are so lucky to be financially able to pursue a family of our own with this assisted reproductive technology ("ART"). I just can't imagine how devastating it must be for those couples who cannot afford IVF or even IUI. So again, I am very thankful.
Fingers crossed for good news this Saturday!
"There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure."
No comments:
Post a Comment