Semen Analysis

A day after our visit to Dr Wong's clinic (11/1/2014 at 5pm), Dr Wong personally called me on my mobile.

For a moment, I was very worried as I thought that my hormonal test or hubby's semen analysis ("SA") must be real bad to warrant a call from Dr Wong himself. But I calmed down to digest what Dr Wong had to say.

Dr Wong said the results of hubby's SA is slightly below the normal range. My heart sank but he quickly added that it is still fine.

Volume: I was not informed.

Count: 14 million sperm/ml [15 million sperm/ml for normal count].

Motility: I was not informed of the percentage of the sperm that should be swimming or motile but was told that the sperms are mostly very active.

Morphology: 1% of 'normal formed sperm' is found as opposed to at least 10% to be considered normal morphology.

When asked if we will require ICSI ("intracytoplasmic sperm injection"), Dr Wong says we will decide then and not to worry.

Well, a quick simple call but it made a big impression on me.

First Official Visit to Sunfert

Yes, we have decided to have our next ivf treatment at Sunfert under Dr Wong Pak Seng. I am very excited. Hubby is calm though.

Our initial appointment on 13/1/2014 was re-scheduled to 10/1/2014 at 2pm. The clinic was not very packed as I would have imagined as I was later told that Dr Wong had to perform a surgery at 5pm. We don't have to wait long before my hubby was asked to provide his sample for semen analysis ("SA") and we were then both asked about our previous medical history and our TTC journey thus far. We were asked whether we smoke or drink and when was the last time I did a pap smear or a blood test. My hubby confessed that he smokes an average of 13 sticks of cigarettes per day and I only managed to shake my head. I know it is hard for hubby to quit smoking so my only hope is that he smokes less. But 13 sticks are a lot! Sigh...

Anyway, I have done a hormonal blood tests on 9/1/2014 (I had a free voucher from Sunfert from an infertility forum conducted by Sunfert on 15/12/2013 which I had attended) at Gribbles laboratory but unfortunately the results have not reached Sunfert.

Dr Wong did a tummy scan, vaginal scan and pelvic check. We saw about 3 to 4 eggs on each side of the ovary and it looked like 1 egg had been released. Dr Wong commented that my ovaries do look slightly smaller than normal but everything else looks fine. The possible reason being that I had gone through 3 fresh ivf programs thus far and my ovaries may have been 'injured' during the oocyte retrieval (egg collection) procedures.

In our discussion later, the issue which concerns Dr Wong is the quality and quantity of my eggs. So, Dr Wong had suggested that I do an ovarian reserve testing which is AMH ("antimullerian hormone").

Another advice is to undergo an endometrial scratching procedure before we start the next ivf program. I have never heard of this before so when Dr Wong explained it to us, I find it very scary indeed!

Hubby was asked to take multivitamins called Bio-Selenium Plus as he is a smoker. It's selenium with zinc and vitamins A, E, B6 & C. I was asked to take co enzyme Q-10 which I am already currently taking daily. However, no Chinese herbs for me such as dong quai and pat chan. I then specifically asked if I could take bah kut teh and Dr Wong said "Why not?". I was beaming as I had craved for bah kut teh for so long! There are considerable Chinese herbs in bah kut teh and therefore I have chosen to avoid taking it altogether.

We left the clinic before 5pm without waiting for the SA results. We were both very hungry as we both had not had our lunch!

So off we went for dinner. Yes, we had bah kut teh! ;)

Happy New Year 2014!

Happy New Year 2014 to everyone!

No countdown for me last night but my mom and my sister stayed the night at my place so we weren't sleeping until the sounds of fire crackers 'died-down' in the distance. :)  Don't I sound like an old lady?! Hahaha!

Anyway, my car windscreen cracked yesterday morning as I was on my way to my office. Well, apparently a stone fell off a lorry as I was driving past it and the stone hit hard on the windscreen. The crack was seen almost immediately and it's about 30cm long! I've never experienced this so it kind of scared me and I had to drive real slow all the way to my office. I'll be taking my car to my friend's workshop today and hopefully the repair work will be swift.

Tonight I have a friend's wedding dinner to attend to but until now I still can't decide on which dress to wear. Frankly, I haven't really gone for any wedding dinners for months. In fact, I've grown sideways with at least one size up now! So most of my dresses are so tight-fitting that I feel it could burst anytime if I were to wear them the whole night! Ha!

I haven't given much thought on any new year resolutions yet but I guess one of them has to be to get pregnant soon. Does that count as a new year resolution?! ;P

I wish everyone a fantastic year ahead! Good luck!

"TODAY, is the first blank page of a 365 page book. Write a good one!"

All Clear!

I couldn't have been happier!

Dr Chung gave us the all clear sign yesterday morning. The vaginal scan showed an empty uterus and nice lining. No blood test required unless I wanted to and the menses which started on 23/12/2013 is a good sign that my body has 'healed'. In fact, Dr Chung says we could start with long protocol on day 21 of this cycle itself if we want to.

However, the problem is, I wish to see another doctor for our 4th IVF treatment. I have even made an appointment for the first consultation scheduled on 13/1/2014. I feel bad for leaving Dr Chung. He has been very nice and professional thus far but being in his clinic and seeing some of the familiar faces there with 'baby bumps' every now and then doesn't help at all. So we have decided to start afresh elsewhere.

I am so grateful to my hubby who has been so supportive of me. It hasn't been easy for him too but I know he just wants me to be happy. If there are any pressure at all, it is all coming from me, myself and I alone. Hubby is fine with us being just the two of us...

"To love someone is nothing, to be loved by someone is something, to love someone who loves you is everything."

Fear of Failure?

It's Christmas! I can't believe it's the end of another year again.

What have I achieved this year? Nothing? Sadly, I can only think of the many failures we had with IVF. This year alone, we've had two (2) fresh IVF treatments but unfortunately with no take home babies. I was so looking forward to our next fresh cycle after my dilation and curettage ("d&c").

However, I feel that I'm kind of holding back a little now. I'd somehow find myself a bit hesitant to get appointments fixed to start afresh. Too afraid of failures again? Losing faith? Or just not ready?

Maybe it's too late now to start in January 2014. I'd just had my 2nd menses two (2) days ago on 23/12/2013. Didn't expect it to be this early. It was just a mere 23 days since 30/11/2013! Well, it's better early than late I suppose. Although the flow is rather heavy this time, I don't feel much cramps so I am very thankful.

I need to know that my body has really healed. Hopefully Dr Chung could confirm that my womb is totally empty now and give us a thumbs-up to continue. That at the very least, may put my mind at ease. I am confident that my blood test this Saturday will reveal the hCG level of below 5 mIU/ml. It has to be!

IVF treatments have never been easy...and knowing that I need to go through it again makes life rather miserable for me. This is really tough, but I have to keep reminding myself that we are so lucky to be financially able to pursue a family of our own with this assisted reproductive technology ("ART"). I just can't imagine how devastating it must be for those couples who cannot afford IVF or even IUI. So again, I am very thankful.

Fingers crossed for good news this Saturday!

"There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure." 

Three TOO MANY?

Well...I've just got to know of yet another colleague of mine being pregnant.

This lady is 12 years younger than me and she has 2 lovely daughters now. Yes, I will have to admit...I do envy her a lot. She is very young and she gets pregnant at the drop of a hat! In fact, everyone seems to be!

However, it greatly saddens me to know that she is not too happy being pregnant with her third child. It must have been an 'accident' and probably she and her husband just couldn't afford having another child at this point of time. Whatever the reason is, it just could not justify a termination, or could it?!

My point is, here I am, trying frantically like a mad woman trying to conceive and there you have another lady having thoughts of a termination! This is madness! For a moment, I just couldn't help but become very angry...at myself? Why should I? I don't really know why...

I hope time will heal all these pain I'm going through and the emptiness I feel deep inside being surrounded by pregnant ladies and babies everywhere I go.

"Hope is faith holding out its hand in the dark."

Staying Healthy for the Next IVF Cycle

It's been a while since I last met Dr Chung.

It was a Thursday (5/12/2013) and I was so relieved that the previous blood test on 30/11/2013 came back negative on infection. Dr Chung also noted (with a sigh of relief!) that the mass in my womb had shrunk in size compared to 5 days earlier. He believed that what I'd experienced on 30/11/2013 was my 1st menses after the dilation and curettage ("d&c"). Blood tests again. Everything else looked good and I were to return for a follow-up check in 3 weeks time (28/12/2013). What a long wait! Anyway, the clinic later called at 7pm to inform that my hCG level had dropped to 11 mIU/ml. It seemed like forever to get the hCG level down to 0.

Well, we can't start our next IVF until we get the 'all clear' from Dr Chung. The earliest possible cycle would be in January 2014. However, due to the Chinese New Year festive holidays starting on 31/1/2014, we may have to wait until February 2014 to start all over.

In the meantime, what I could do is to stay healthy in preparation for the next IVF stimulation with medications and drugs.

I find myself buying more supplements than I did previously. These are my daily intake since a week after the d&c:-

(i)    folic acid 5mg

(ii)   vitamin B-complex [Surbex Zinc from Abbott]

(iii)  royal jelly 1000mg [Kordel's]

(iv)  co enzyme Q-10 50mg [Bio-Life]

(v)   omega 3 fatty acid - DHA 250mg & EPA 20mg [NeuroGainPB]

(vi)  propylthiouracil 50mg ["PTU"] - alternate days

During my 1st, 2nd and 3rd fresh IVFs and FETs, I was only taking folic acid, vitamin B-complex and PTU daily. PTU is prescribed by my physician, Dr Leslie Lai, due to my hyperthyroidism condition. However, as my T3, T4 and TSH levels are back to the normal range, I am only taking PTU on alternate days instead of the usual daily tablet.

In addition to these supplements, I am also taking chicken essence [Eu Yan Sang], avocados, instant rolled-oats, sunflower seeds, raisins, nuts and making drinks from spirulina, chlorella, quinoa powder, walnut powder, black sesame powder and protein powder.

I must say it's really tough trying to maintain a balanced healthy diet especially when there are so much variety of foods here in Malaysia. Foods that are good for health may not be most people's choice. It's worse during my work days as there are limited choice of 'healthy' foods around for lunch.

During the weekends however, I'll normally make some salads and drink plenty of water. I have not been drinking coffee and tea for a long time...maybe once in a blue moon? Hot chocolate or Milo, honey lemon and soya bean drinks have been my favourites most of the time if I am eating out.

The only thing that I have no discipline doing is to exercise.

I used to go for yoga classes and swims but I've haven't for a couple of months. I may start swimming again once my spotting stops (for the record, I haven't stopped spotting/bleeding since my d&c) but I may not continue with the yoga classes. Oh well, I may change my mind...

"Believe you can and you are half way there..."